I am Caleb Fielding and I have a Question for you, How can you tell if you are loved?
Have you ever wondered if someone really loved you? Maybe you wondered if a parent loved you, or a girlfriend, or perhaps you wondered if you were loved at your church. I once went to a church that often sang “God loves you, and I love you, and that’s the way it should be”. And I can remember wondering, “do you really love me”?
The Bible tells us how we can know if we are loved When the Bible defines love It tells us in I Corinthians 13:5-6 Charity
1Co 13:5b thinketh no evil;
1Co 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
As we continue to use the Word of God to define love, we must understand what one thing love always desires. Love always desires for whatever it loves to do right.
When the Bible says that charity (love) thinketh no evil, it means that when I love someone I will always think about getting them to do right. When I see them doing right I rejoice with them. When I see someone I love doing wrong, even if they are successful, I mourn. Love always wants whatever it loves to do right.
Marriage is a good example of this because this is a natural part of marriage. Husbands and wives naturally want each other to do right, and that is an expression of their love one for another.
As an unmarried Christian you need to experience the love one for another in the local church. In fact this relational need is much more necessary to be met by the local church than any other. The reason is that if someone loves you then they want you to do right, but unfortunately there are many different definitions of right and wrong. Isiah 5:20 warns us about people who call good evil and evil good.
There are people in the world that think it is right to strap a bomb on their body to blow up other people. And BECAUSE they love their children they strap a bomb on their children and blow them up because they honestly believe evil things are good.
There are parents in the world today who think that drugs are the greatest thing in the world, and introduce their own kids to it, and teach their kids how to prostitute their bodies for drugs. They believe evil things are good, so in love they train the people they love to do what their definition of right is.
Although these examples are extreme it is very important for your definition of what is right to Match God’s definition for right and wrong, and for you to be close to people that agree with God. This is why it is so important to obey Gods Word on being equally yoked (II Corinthians 6:14). If someone has a very different definition of right and wrong than you, then in love they will get you to do many evil things that they think are right.
I don’t know what your school, work, or family thinks is right or wrong. I know the Bible is always right on what is right, and I know that churches are to live by the Word of God. So in my relationship with the local church we are equally yoked because we both get our definition of right and wrong from the same source; The Bible
I think the easiest way a single can take the initiative in loving people is telling them about how to become a Christian. Jesus is the only way to heaven and all other ways lead to hell. If we love these people we will tell them about the love of Christ who died for them and offers them the free gift of salvation..
Generally people do not share the gospel with others because they are scared of the consequences. In America we are scared we are going to make people mad, or if we are at work we are scared we could lose our job. There are other countries where sharing the gospel can get you sent to prison or even executed.
Honestly sharing the gospel allows us to practice the first two aspects of love. Todays practice of love is where we want someone to do right, and in sharing the gospel we may see someone turn from darkness to light, from sin to Christ. But if we share the gospel and they get mad, or we face some other more sever consequence we get to show love by suffering and showing kindness in the midst of that suffering.
That said this series is about our relationship with the local church, so how do I show this aspect of love in the local church?
A part of love is wanting people to do right so since we, as Christians, get our definition of right from the Bible the more we know our Bible the more we will be able to love people in the Church.
But as a warning don’t get this idea in your head that to help people do right you need to go around correcting everybody. In Galatians 2 Paul corrected Peter BUT Paul had been serving in the ministry for 14 years and been involved in many church plants, and had trained many men to serve the Lord faithfully.
Until you are in a position where you are training people to serve the Lord you’re really not in a position to correct anybody. You should study your Bible and ask your pastor lots of questions, but correcting men of God who has served for years is not appropriate.
At this point you have to be wondering, if a part of love is desiring people to do right, but I cannot go around correcting everyone, then how do I get them to do right? The answer is simple. HELP them do right.
Within the church chances are you are not going to be aware of anyone’s sin. Even if you were aware of it you should let the pastor deal with it. Generally people who go to church look like they are doing great. So to show this type of love in the local church you will be doing a lot of small things.
For example if someone needs a ride to church, then you will help them do right by bringing them to church. Maybe someone in church is always helping out in the nursery or other childrens program and you can fill in for them so they can actually go to the service.
Pastors are always the busiest people in the world. It would be awesome if you volunteered to mow or vacuum for the pastor so that he would have more time to study the Bible or council people.
I do not know the unique situation of your local church, and I am sure that if you talked with your pastor you would find out there are many situations in your church where you can do something specific, for someone, to help them do right.
Jesus was a really wonderful example of this over and over again. Although there are several examples we can find in the life of Christ where Jesus did something to help others do right I will chose one of the first things Jesus did. In Mathew 9:9 and Mark 2:14 we find Jesus calling Matthew the Levite to follow him.
Matthew would have had a fairly fascinating life story. Being a Levite he would have been trained to memorize the entire old testament, and been brought up with the hopes that once he was 13 years old he would be taken under the wing of a priest and trained for the priesthood. But for whatever reason that did not happen. So instead of becoming a priest who would have led the people of Israel and been revered and highly thought of, he became a tax collector, and collectively hated by the people.
Then Jesus showed up and said “follow me”. Jesus did not rebuke him for being a tax collector and demand that Matthew get right with God. Jesus did not come to Matthew and tell him how worthless Matthew was. Jesus did not give Matthew a 12 step plan for leaving behind the life of a tax collector. Jesus simply said “follow me”. ;
Jesus gave Matthew the opportunity to follow a Rabi which allowed Matthew to do right. And this is a lesson on love that we all need to learn early on. Yes we want people to do right, but if there is some action I can take to help them get there I should do that long before I say anything.
As a Christian single in the local church, have you helped anyone do right?
As I said earlier you have a great need to love and be loved. You get your need to love others met, in part, by helping others do what is right. But to get your need to be loved met you need others who desire you to do right.
It is so important for you to go to a church where you and the church know that the Bible is the final authority on what is right. It puts you in a place where people in the church can show how much they love you by constantly encouraging you to do what you know is right. When the people in church encourage you to do right they are loving you.
Sometimes you are looking for that love, and will eat it up.
Sometimes your flesh takes the lead and someone in church takes the Bible and tells you what it says about doing right and you don’t like it because that isn’t what you want to hear right now, but when someone in church takes the Bible and tries to get you to do right when you are doing wrong, they are loving you.
In II Samuel 12 king David just committed adultery with Bathsheba and had Uriah the Hittite killed. Nathan the prophet showed up and called David out on his sin. Nathan called David out because Nathan loved David, and wanted to see him do right and wanted him to prosper. When Nathan called king David out, David could have thrown Nathan the prophet in prison, or had him executed or done many evil things to Nathan the prophet. Despite knowing how badly it could end for himself, Nathan loved David enough to call him out on his sin and David repented and did right.
As a single adult one of the greatest relationships you could ever have, is a relationship with another Christian who is allowed to call you out when you do wrong. This relationship should not be awkward because you should both have the same definition of right and wrong, because your definition of right and wrong should be coming from the Bible.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”
You are human, at times you are going to be dead wrong, and you need a friend who loves you, who will point out when you are wrong. Those times will hurt, but by definition, if your friend loves you your friend will want you to do right. At times your friend encouraging you to do right will hurt, but you will look back at that injury as a great blessing because those wounds show how much you are loved.
Who do you have in your life right now who loves you enough to tell you when you are wrong? Who do you have in your life who tries to get you to do right, despite what it may cost them? That person loves you.
In conclusion you have a need to love and be loved, and these needs are met in part by you helping others around you to do right, and those around you helping you do right. The easiest place for a single to get this need met is in the local church. But the question is, have you gotten close enough with anyone in your local church, that you can help each other do right, and by definition, love and be loved.
Have you ever wondered if someone really loved you? Maybe you wondered if a parent loved you, or a girlfriend, or perhaps you wondered if you were loved at your church. I once went to a church that often sang “God loves you, and I love you, and that’s the way it should be”. And I can remember wondering, “do you really love me”?
The Bible tells us how we can know if we are loved When the Bible defines love It tells us in I Corinthians 13:5-6 Charity
1Co 13:5b thinketh no evil;
1Co 13:6 Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
As we continue to use the Word of God to define love, we must understand what one thing love always desires. Love always desires for whatever it loves to do right.
When the Bible says that charity (love) thinketh no evil, it means that when I love someone I will always think about getting them to do right. When I see them doing right I rejoice with them. When I see someone I love doing wrong, even if they are successful, I mourn. Love always wants whatever it loves to do right.
Marriage is a good example of this because this is a natural part of marriage. Husbands and wives naturally want each other to do right, and that is an expression of their love one for another.
As an unmarried Christian you need to experience the love one for another in the local church. In fact this relational need is much more necessary to be met by the local church than any other. The reason is that if someone loves you then they want you to do right, but unfortunately there are many different definitions of right and wrong. Isiah 5:20 warns us about people who call good evil and evil good.
There are people in the world that think it is right to strap a bomb on their body to blow up other people. And BECAUSE they love their children they strap a bomb on their children and blow them up because they honestly believe evil things are good.
There are parents in the world today who think that drugs are the greatest thing in the world, and introduce their own kids to it, and teach their kids how to prostitute their bodies for drugs. They believe evil things are good, so in love they train the people they love to do what their definition of right is.
Although these examples are extreme it is very important for your definition of what is right to Match God’s definition for right and wrong, and for you to be close to people that agree with God. This is why it is so important to obey Gods Word on being equally yoked (II Corinthians 6:14). If someone has a very different definition of right and wrong than you, then in love they will get you to do many evil things that they think are right.
I don’t know what your school, work, or family thinks is right or wrong. I know the Bible is always right on what is right, and I know that churches are to live by the Word of God. So in my relationship with the local church we are equally yoked because we both get our definition of right and wrong from the same source; The Bible
I think the easiest way a single can take the initiative in loving people is telling them about how to become a Christian. Jesus is the only way to heaven and all other ways lead to hell. If we love these people we will tell them about the love of Christ who died for them and offers them the free gift of salvation..
Generally people do not share the gospel with others because they are scared of the consequences. In America we are scared we are going to make people mad, or if we are at work we are scared we could lose our job. There are other countries where sharing the gospel can get you sent to prison or even executed.
Honestly sharing the gospel allows us to practice the first two aspects of love. Todays practice of love is where we want someone to do right, and in sharing the gospel we may see someone turn from darkness to light, from sin to Christ. But if we share the gospel and they get mad, or we face some other more sever consequence we get to show love by suffering and showing kindness in the midst of that suffering.
That said this series is about our relationship with the local church, so how do I show this aspect of love in the local church?
A part of love is wanting people to do right so since we, as Christians, get our definition of right from the Bible the more we know our Bible the more we will be able to love people in the Church.
But as a warning don’t get this idea in your head that to help people do right you need to go around correcting everybody. In Galatians 2 Paul corrected Peter BUT Paul had been serving in the ministry for 14 years and been involved in many church plants, and had trained many men to serve the Lord faithfully.
Until you are in a position where you are training people to serve the Lord you’re really not in a position to correct anybody. You should study your Bible and ask your pastor lots of questions, but correcting men of God who has served for years is not appropriate.
At this point you have to be wondering, if a part of love is desiring people to do right, but I cannot go around correcting everyone, then how do I get them to do right? The answer is simple. HELP them do right.
Within the church chances are you are not going to be aware of anyone’s sin. Even if you were aware of it you should let the pastor deal with it. Generally people who go to church look like they are doing great. So to show this type of love in the local church you will be doing a lot of small things.
For example if someone needs a ride to church, then you will help them do right by bringing them to church. Maybe someone in church is always helping out in the nursery or other childrens program and you can fill in for them so they can actually go to the service.
Pastors are always the busiest people in the world. It would be awesome if you volunteered to mow or vacuum for the pastor so that he would have more time to study the Bible or council people.
I do not know the unique situation of your local church, and I am sure that if you talked with your pastor you would find out there are many situations in your church where you can do something specific, for someone, to help them do right.
Jesus was a really wonderful example of this over and over again. Although there are several examples we can find in the life of Christ where Jesus did something to help others do right I will chose one of the first things Jesus did. In Mathew 9:9 and Mark 2:14 we find Jesus calling Matthew the Levite to follow him.
Matthew would have had a fairly fascinating life story. Being a Levite he would have been trained to memorize the entire old testament, and been brought up with the hopes that once he was 13 years old he would be taken under the wing of a priest and trained for the priesthood. But for whatever reason that did not happen. So instead of becoming a priest who would have led the people of Israel and been revered and highly thought of, he became a tax collector, and collectively hated by the people.
Then Jesus showed up and said “follow me”. Jesus did not rebuke him for being a tax collector and demand that Matthew get right with God. Jesus did not come to Matthew and tell him how worthless Matthew was. Jesus did not give Matthew a 12 step plan for leaving behind the life of a tax collector. Jesus simply said “follow me”. ;
Jesus gave Matthew the opportunity to follow a Rabi which allowed Matthew to do right. And this is a lesson on love that we all need to learn early on. Yes we want people to do right, but if there is some action I can take to help them get there I should do that long before I say anything.
As a Christian single in the local church, have you helped anyone do right?
As I said earlier you have a great need to love and be loved. You get your need to love others met, in part, by helping others do what is right. But to get your need to be loved met you need others who desire you to do right.
It is so important for you to go to a church where you and the church know that the Bible is the final authority on what is right. It puts you in a place where people in the church can show how much they love you by constantly encouraging you to do what you know is right. When the people in church encourage you to do right they are loving you.
Sometimes you are looking for that love, and will eat it up.
Sometimes your flesh takes the lead and someone in church takes the Bible and tells you what it says about doing right and you don’t like it because that isn’t what you want to hear right now, but when someone in church takes the Bible and tries to get you to do right when you are doing wrong, they are loving you.
In II Samuel 12 king David just committed adultery with Bathsheba and had Uriah the Hittite killed. Nathan the prophet showed up and called David out on his sin. Nathan called David out because Nathan loved David, and wanted to see him do right and wanted him to prosper. When Nathan called king David out, David could have thrown Nathan the prophet in prison, or had him executed or done many evil things to Nathan the prophet. Despite knowing how badly it could end for himself, Nathan loved David enough to call him out on his sin and David repented and did right.
As a single adult one of the greatest relationships you could ever have, is a relationship with another Christian who is allowed to call you out when you do wrong. This relationship should not be awkward because you should both have the same definition of right and wrong, because your definition of right and wrong should be coming from the Bible.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 27:6 “Faithful are the wounds of a friend”
You are human, at times you are going to be dead wrong, and you need a friend who loves you, who will point out when you are wrong. Those times will hurt, but by definition, if your friend loves you your friend will want you to do right. At times your friend encouraging you to do right will hurt, but you will look back at that injury as a great blessing because those wounds show how much you are loved.
Who do you have in your life right now who loves you enough to tell you when you are wrong? Who do you have in your life who tries to get you to do right, despite what it may cost them? That person loves you.
In conclusion you have a need to love and be loved, and these needs are met in part by you helping others around you to do right, and those around you helping you do right. The easiest place for a single to get this need met is in the local church. But the question is, have you gotten close enough with anyone in your local church, that you can help each other do right, and by definition, love and be loved.