I am Caleb Fielding and I have a question for you. How do you get people to care for you?
There are some people in this world who have great charisma. It seems like everywhere they go they have friends, they are wanted, and they have great favor. Heres the thing though, if your around long enough you will have a conversation with one of these super popular people where they explain that people act like they love them when they are around, but then talk about them behind their back, and even though they have great popularity, they wonder how do I get people to care for me?
I have never been a popular person or been shown the favor that some people in my circles have been shown, and at times in my life I struggled to find anyone who cared for me outside of my mom. Regardless of how I asked this question it basically came down to this “how do I get people to care for me?”
Whether you are the supposedly popular person trying to figure this out, or the supposedly unpopular person trying to figure this out, I Corinthians 12:25 tells us how we can get this need met at our local churches.
1Co 12:25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
My understanding of this verse is that as Christians we should care for other members of the church as much as we care for ourselves. Obviously as humans we are finite. We are limited in what we can do. So we will not be able to care for every member in a church as much as we care about ourselves but to obey this verse we should care about at least one person in our church as much as we care about ourselves.
If you read this and think this is very similar to what Husbands are told to do in Ephesians 5:28 then I would agree with you. Husbands are commanded to love their wives like they love their own bodies. If they do that then they are obviously going to care about their wives as much as they care about themselves. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, and if they submit then they are caring for their husbands as much as they care for themselves.
Having the same care one for another is a relational need every human has. Married couples get this need met through each other, minors get this need met through their parents, but as minors transition into adulthood God designed them to step away from their parents and in this process they can no longer get this need met through their parents. God in His wisdom intentionally did this. Single adults must get this need met through the local church.
If we as single adults want others to care for us we must Initiate by caring for others in church as much as we care for ourselves. If you have never tried to intentionally care for others as much as you care for yourself please let your pastor know beforehand that you are trying to obey I Corinthians 12:25 and care for other church members as much as you care for yourself. The pastor should know his people well enough to give you a great idea on how to do this with the most tact.
God designed everyone with an inbuilt need to care for other people. If you are not caring for other people then you are not getting a basic human need met. People who live their lives for only themselves are the most miserable people, and they must turn to drugs, alcohol and any short term pleasure they can to drown the misery they are in. Completely selfish people are emotionally damaged people. This is the worst case scenario.
If we were to be honest most people coast through life caring for people only as much as they have to. Chances are if you are a single adult in a local church you are serving in some capacity. When I was in Bible college I served in many different ministries, and when you are serving in the local church you cannot help but to serve others. Looking back in all honesty I really could have cared for the people I served much more.
Some of the people I served with took steps to care for me much more than I cared for them, and they received blessings that I never did because of it. If you are a single and you are serving in your local church I would encourage you to talk with your pastor about how you can care more for those you are serving, and care more for those you are serving with. The closer you get to caring for them like you care for yourself the more of a blessing you get.
In John 21 Jesus asked Simon Peter 3 times if Simon loved Jesus. Every time Peter answered and said he loved Jesus. Jesus responded by saying feed my lambs, and feed my sheep.
Who are the lambs and sheep of Jesus? The local church. If you love Jesus in some way fashion or form you will feed the church.
Jesus referred to the church as lambs and sheep throughout His ministry. In the time of Christ the shepherds did not fence off the sheep from all predators and bring in bags of sheep food. Sheep had to eat in fields. Once the grass was eaten in a particular field if the shepherd cared for the sheep he would move the sheep to a field with lots of grazing available. If the predator attacked the shepherd would fight off the predator.
The shepherds reward was equal to how much he cared for the sheep.
Many times our reward will be equal to how much we care.
Ask yourself this question who do you have an opportunity to take care of in your local church? Perhaps there is a Sunday school class that needs a teacher. Perhaps there is a retired person that just needs someone to talk to. Perhaps there is a teenager that just needs a friend. Maybe its not the teenager that needs a friend, maybe its your pastor, or for the ladies your pastors wife. I am told that most pastors do not have a close personal friend, could the singles be the answer to that problem?
You have an inbuilt need to care for others. Talk with your pastor about who you can invest time and energy in, if its your pastor that’s wonderful, if its someone else that’s wonderful. God made you with the need to care for others as you care for yourself, and as a single adult you are to get that need met in the local church.
You have a need to care for others, but you also have a need for others to care for you. When you invest time and energy caring for other people there should be a Response to your initiative.
As a single that faithfully goes to church it is easy to serve the Lord in many ministries. If you are always serving and never being served that is a dangerous place to be.
To have the same care for one another demands that you serve others and others serve you. That you care for others and they care for you. This is the definition of a healthy relationship. Give and take. Its not about keeping score. Its not about serving others because you get something in return. Care for others and serving others is a healthy thing for you to do so you should do it. At the same time you need others to care for you some. You as an unmarried adult will likely give a lot more than you take and that’s fine, healthy even. But on some level you need others to care for you and your needs.
In John 6 there are five thousand men following Jesus because they saw the Miracles that Jesus was doing, and how Jesus was healing the sick. Jesus takes note of these people and ask his disciples how they are going to feed all these people, and His disciples tell him they do not have enough money to feed thousands of people.
In the course of the conversation there is a lad mentioned who has 5 loaves and 2 fishes. He cares enough about Jesus to give him his food. And then Jesus takes that food, that care, and cares for thousands of people.
Jesus could have fed those people without the lad’s help because Jesus is God. He could have made mana rain from heaven. But remember everything Jesus did on earth was an example of what we are to do on earth. The example we need to follow here is that without one person caring for Jesus, Jesus would not have had the opportunity to care for the multitude with loaves and fishes.
You should care for other people in your local church, but if nobody else in your local churches cares for you then, you will not last. That is not to say that the first time you begin caring for others that they will respond. Its reasonable to expect this process to take months. That isn’t to say that they will ever give you the same amount of care that you give them. For instance if you decide to care for your pastor as much as you care for yourself, or if you are a lady and decide to care for your pastors wife as much as you care for yourself, they have so much responsility on them they will only be able to return a fraction of that care back to you.
In this story the little boy with the lunch gave everything he had to Jesus, Jesus gave to over five thousand men and the boy got a fraction of that, but what the boy got back was much more than he needed.
When you care for others as much as you care for yourself don’t expect others to put into you as much as you put in them. The only expectation you should have is that when they respond to you caring for them, by caring for you, is that it will be more than enough to meet your needs.
In conclusion you have a need to invest your life into people and care for them as much as you care for yourself , and you have a need for people in turn to care for you. To get these two needs met you must take the first step.
There are some people in this world who have great charisma. It seems like everywhere they go they have friends, they are wanted, and they have great favor. Heres the thing though, if your around long enough you will have a conversation with one of these super popular people where they explain that people act like they love them when they are around, but then talk about them behind their back, and even though they have great popularity, they wonder how do I get people to care for me?
I have never been a popular person or been shown the favor that some people in my circles have been shown, and at times in my life I struggled to find anyone who cared for me outside of my mom. Regardless of how I asked this question it basically came down to this “how do I get people to care for me?”
Whether you are the supposedly popular person trying to figure this out, or the supposedly unpopular person trying to figure this out, I Corinthians 12:25 tells us how we can get this need met at our local churches.
1Co 12:25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
My understanding of this verse is that as Christians we should care for other members of the church as much as we care for ourselves. Obviously as humans we are finite. We are limited in what we can do. So we will not be able to care for every member in a church as much as we care about ourselves but to obey this verse we should care about at least one person in our church as much as we care about ourselves.
If you read this and think this is very similar to what Husbands are told to do in Ephesians 5:28 then I would agree with you. Husbands are commanded to love their wives like they love their own bodies. If they do that then they are obviously going to care about their wives as much as they care about themselves. Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands, and if they submit then they are caring for their husbands as much as they care for themselves.
Having the same care one for another is a relational need every human has. Married couples get this need met through each other, minors get this need met through their parents, but as minors transition into adulthood God designed them to step away from their parents and in this process they can no longer get this need met through their parents. God in His wisdom intentionally did this. Single adults must get this need met through the local church.
If we as single adults want others to care for us we must Initiate by caring for others in church as much as we care for ourselves. If you have never tried to intentionally care for others as much as you care for yourself please let your pastor know beforehand that you are trying to obey I Corinthians 12:25 and care for other church members as much as you care for yourself. The pastor should know his people well enough to give you a great idea on how to do this with the most tact.
God designed everyone with an inbuilt need to care for other people. If you are not caring for other people then you are not getting a basic human need met. People who live their lives for only themselves are the most miserable people, and they must turn to drugs, alcohol and any short term pleasure they can to drown the misery they are in. Completely selfish people are emotionally damaged people. This is the worst case scenario.
If we were to be honest most people coast through life caring for people only as much as they have to. Chances are if you are a single adult in a local church you are serving in some capacity. When I was in Bible college I served in many different ministries, and when you are serving in the local church you cannot help but to serve others. Looking back in all honesty I really could have cared for the people I served much more.
Some of the people I served with took steps to care for me much more than I cared for them, and they received blessings that I never did because of it. If you are a single and you are serving in your local church I would encourage you to talk with your pastor about how you can care more for those you are serving, and care more for those you are serving with. The closer you get to caring for them like you care for yourself the more of a blessing you get.
In John 21 Jesus asked Simon Peter 3 times if Simon loved Jesus. Every time Peter answered and said he loved Jesus. Jesus responded by saying feed my lambs, and feed my sheep.
Who are the lambs and sheep of Jesus? The local church. If you love Jesus in some way fashion or form you will feed the church.
Jesus referred to the church as lambs and sheep throughout His ministry. In the time of Christ the shepherds did not fence off the sheep from all predators and bring in bags of sheep food. Sheep had to eat in fields. Once the grass was eaten in a particular field if the shepherd cared for the sheep he would move the sheep to a field with lots of grazing available. If the predator attacked the shepherd would fight off the predator.
The shepherds reward was equal to how much he cared for the sheep.
Many times our reward will be equal to how much we care.
Ask yourself this question who do you have an opportunity to take care of in your local church? Perhaps there is a Sunday school class that needs a teacher. Perhaps there is a retired person that just needs someone to talk to. Perhaps there is a teenager that just needs a friend. Maybe its not the teenager that needs a friend, maybe its your pastor, or for the ladies your pastors wife. I am told that most pastors do not have a close personal friend, could the singles be the answer to that problem?
You have an inbuilt need to care for others. Talk with your pastor about who you can invest time and energy in, if its your pastor that’s wonderful, if its someone else that’s wonderful. God made you with the need to care for others as you care for yourself, and as a single adult you are to get that need met in the local church.
You have a need to care for others, but you also have a need for others to care for you. When you invest time and energy caring for other people there should be a Response to your initiative.
As a single that faithfully goes to church it is easy to serve the Lord in many ministries. If you are always serving and never being served that is a dangerous place to be.
To have the same care for one another demands that you serve others and others serve you. That you care for others and they care for you. This is the definition of a healthy relationship. Give and take. Its not about keeping score. Its not about serving others because you get something in return. Care for others and serving others is a healthy thing for you to do so you should do it. At the same time you need others to care for you some. You as an unmarried adult will likely give a lot more than you take and that’s fine, healthy even. But on some level you need others to care for you and your needs.
In John 6 there are five thousand men following Jesus because they saw the Miracles that Jesus was doing, and how Jesus was healing the sick. Jesus takes note of these people and ask his disciples how they are going to feed all these people, and His disciples tell him they do not have enough money to feed thousands of people.
In the course of the conversation there is a lad mentioned who has 5 loaves and 2 fishes. He cares enough about Jesus to give him his food. And then Jesus takes that food, that care, and cares for thousands of people.
Jesus could have fed those people without the lad’s help because Jesus is God. He could have made mana rain from heaven. But remember everything Jesus did on earth was an example of what we are to do on earth. The example we need to follow here is that without one person caring for Jesus, Jesus would not have had the opportunity to care for the multitude with loaves and fishes.
You should care for other people in your local church, but if nobody else in your local churches cares for you then, you will not last. That is not to say that the first time you begin caring for others that they will respond. Its reasonable to expect this process to take months. That isn’t to say that they will ever give you the same amount of care that you give them. For instance if you decide to care for your pastor as much as you care for yourself, or if you are a lady and decide to care for your pastors wife as much as you care for yourself, they have so much responsility on them they will only be able to return a fraction of that care back to you.
In this story the little boy with the lunch gave everything he had to Jesus, Jesus gave to over five thousand men and the boy got a fraction of that, but what the boy got back was much more than he needed.
When you care for others as much as you care for yourself don’t expect others to put into you as much as you put in them. The only expectation you should have is that when they respond to you caring for them, by caring for you, is that it will be more than enough to meet your needs.
In conclusion you have a need to invest your life into people and care for them as much as you care for yourself , and you have a need for people in turn to care for you. To get these two needs met you must take the first step.