I am Caleb Fielding and I have a question for you? When God blesses you who do you tell about it?
When I was in Bible college I had a lot going on. I was working a full time job, a part time job, taking karate, and I was involved in five different ministries. When you are involved in a lot there is a lot in your life for God to bless. God blessed me in Bible college, work, ministry and karate. Most of the time I didn’t tell anyone about how God was blessing me because I thought it wouldn’t be polite to brag, or I thought people didn’t care, or I thought why share my blessing when the people I would share it with it are blessed so much more than me. I mean my mountains would be valleys to these people.
because I did not share the things I was blessed with I was living a very isolated life. The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 12:25-26
1Co 12:25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
1Co 12:26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
To have a right relationship with your local church, when someone is honored someone should rejoice with them. I was going to church, and God was blessing me in Bible college, ministry, job, a hobby and I was disobedient and kept those blessings to myself. God designed us with a need to share how God has blessed us and honored us, and I was suffering because I went to church and kept it to myself.
In marriage it is very easy for one spouse to rejoice when the other spouse is honored. Its natural because they live together so they know what is going on in each other’s lives. They know how important that honor is to the other person, how hard they worked to get there, what it means to the person who is honored. So when one of them is honored, not only do they know about it, but they also know the steps it took to get there and because their lives are so intermingled when one of them is honored its as if both of them are honored, so its very natural for both of them to rejoice together when one of them is honored
As a single adult it is very easy to be isolated, so even though you work hard, and spend a significant amount of time to get some objective done; when you finally get that done, and get honored for it, it is very easy for you to be honored and have nobody care. That is not healthy. As a single adult you will have to be intentional about getting this relational need met. You have a God designed need in your life for people to rejoice with you when God blesses you.
Although this is a need in women, this is actually a much bigger need for men. It is often said that a husband’s greatest relational need is respect (sometimes people use the word affirmation, or validation), but its not exactly true that a husbands greatest relational need is respect, it should be said instead “A man’s greatest relational need is respect”. It doesn’t matter if a man is married or unmarried, a mans greatest relational need is being shown respect, affirmation, and validation. As a single person, man or woman, you need to be very Intentional about sharing what you have been honored with, so that you can have your need to be shown respect, afferimation and validation met.
Again if you have never done this in your church before it would be a good idea to show your pastor I Corinthians 12:25-26 and ask how you can obey these scriptures in your church with wisdom.
In the last lesson we talked about sharing your suffering, and its worth noting that the Bible tells us to share our suffering before it tells us to share how we have been honored. I believe the Bible list it this way because most of the time you must suffer before you are honored. You have to suffer through 12 years of school to graduate high school, 4 years of college to get a bachelor’s degree, interviews to get a job. Suffering and honor go together.
How many of us have put in time, effort and energy in something, and finally when it bears fruit we are isolated in our honor? Perhaps we get a raise, a good grade, a promotion, or a victory in something we find important. We have put in untold hours, dollars, and sweat into getting this honor. This honor will affect our lives for years to come. And through all the struggle we are finally honored, but we feel unable to share this with anybody in our church.
This is unhealthy, and destructive.
Many times what happens is we look around in church and we see people getting honored in much bigger ways than we are. Maybe they are getting engaged, married, having babies, buying houses, or getting jobs we cant even imagine, and we think our honor does not compare to theirs.
The Bible does not say that we are to rejoice when someone gets a big enough honor, it says that when one member is honored, even in a way we may feel is small, we are to rejoice with them. But no one can rejoice with you if you do not share your honor.
There is a character in Dilbert called Topper. Whenever someone mentions their success around Topper, Topper has to top it. If you have someone in your church like that, leave them alone, cause they are directly disobeying God. When you are blessed the people in the local church are to rejoice with you, and when you are fearful of “Toppers” in the local church that puts you and your church in a dangerous position.
In Genesis we find a man named Abram (later Abraham) and God honored him with a wife named Sarah. In Genesis 12, and Genesis 20 Abram (Abraham) said that Sarah was his sister and never mentioned that he had the honor of being married to Sarah. Sarah never mentioned she had the honor of being married to Abram (Abraham). They never mentioned what they had been honored with because of fear. And God nearly destroyed two countries because of it.
Technically Abraham and Sarah never lied, they just never mentioned their honor. Not sharing their honor nearly destroyed two countries. But when they finally revealed that they had the honor of being married to each other those two nations that God was about to destroy were rescued.
I do not know what God has honored you with. I do know that its very easy to let fear reign in your heart and life and not tell anyone about what God has done for you. But it is destructive for you and your church to keep your mouth shut about what God has done for you. Are you willing to be obedient, despite your fears, and share what God has honored you with? No one can rejoice with you until you share your honor with them.
Once you are sharing your honor with others that allows others to Respond by sharing their honor with you and giving you the chance to rejoice with them.
Does anybody in your local church trust you enough to share with you how God has blessed them?
You have an inbuilt, God given, relational need to hear how God is blessing and honoring those around you. If nobody around you is telling you how they are being honored and blessed, its probably because someone (maybe you) has discouraged them from doing so.
I have to tell you I am very convicted as I say this. I grew up in a home where teasing was encouraged, I went to school were sarcasm was a subject taught in every class, when I was a kid if someone had something to be proud of, was blessed by, or honored with I had to belittle them to make myself feel better. The community I was in knocked down everyone’s accomplishments. This made it impossible to get this relational need met.
Who would tell you about their honor if you are just going to knock it down out of selfish pride?
In the book of Ester we find a King who marries Ester and makes her a queen, but she did not tell her husband that she is a Jew. One of the Kings men decides to exterminate the Jews, and the King agrees to his plan simply because his wife, his queen never told her husband that she had the honor of being a Jew. She did not tell her husband she was a Jew out of fear of what would happen.
One day after the proclamation goes out that the kings men are planning on exterminating the Jews, Ester gets a message to tell the King that she is a Jew, or God will deliver the Jews another way. Perhaps God would kill the king. Who knows? If you read the book of Ester you will find that she had a lot of reasons to fear her husband finding out that she was a Jew, but once she shared her honor with the king, the king opened a way for the Jews to be saved from extermination, and made her family rise to prominence.
In this story its not Ester that was wrong, it was the king. His wife was scared to tell her husband of her honor and that nearly led to destruction. How much destruction has happened in your life because people are fearful to share their honor with you?
In conclusion God has given you a need that when someone in your church is honored that people will rejoice with them. What will it take to share your honor with others so that they can rejoice with you? What will it take for others to share their honor with you so you can rejoice with them? You need both to happen to have a right relationship with your local church. But in developing a right relationship with your local church you will become a spiritually and emotionally healthy Christian. Are you willing to give up your fear for this opportunity?
When I was in Bible college I had a lot going on. I was working a full time job, a part time job, taking karate, and I was involved in five different ministries. When you are involved in a lot there is a lot in your life for God to bless. God blessed me in Bible college, work, ministry and karate. Most of the time I didn’t tell anyone about how God was blessing me because I thought it wouldn’t be polite to brag, or I thought people didn’t care, or I thought why share my blessing when the people I would share it with it are blessed so much more than me. I mean my mountains would be valleys to these people.
because I did not share the things I was blessed with I was living a very isolated life. The Bible tells us in I Corinthians 12:25-26
1Co 12:25 That there should be no schism in the body; but that the members should have the same care one for another.
1Co 12:26 And whether one member suffer, all the members suffer with it; or one member be honoured, all the members rejoice with it.
To have a right relationship with your local church, when someone is honored someone should rejoice with them. I was going to church, and God was blessing me in Bible college, ministry, job, a hobby and I was disobedient and kept those blessings to myself. God designed us with a need to share how God has blessed us and honored us, and I was suffering because I went to church and kept it to myself.
In marriage it is very easy for one spouse to rejoice when the other spouse is honored. Its natural because they live together so they know what is going on in each other’s lives. They know how important that honor is to the other person, how hard they worked to get there, what it means to the person who is honored. So when one of them is honored, not only do they know about it, but they also know the steps it took to get there and because their lives are so intermingled when one of them is honored its as if both of them are honored, so its very natural for both of them to rejoice together when one of them is honored
As a single adult it is very easy to be isolated, so even though you work hard, and spend a significant amount of time to get some objective done; when you finally get that done, and get honored for it, it is very easy for you to be honored and have nobody care. That is not healthy. As a single adult you will have to be intentional about getting this relational need met. You have a God designed need in your life for people to rejoice with you when God blesses you.
Although this is a need in women, this is actually a much bigger need for men. It is often said that a husband’s greatest relational need is respect (sometimes people use the word affirmation, or validation), but its not exactly true that a husbands greatest relational need is respect, it should be said instead “A man’s greatest relational need is respect”. It doesn’t matter if a man is married or unmarried, a mans greatest relational need is being shown respect, affirmation, and validation. As a single person, man or woman, you need to be very Intentional about sharing what you have been honored with, so that you can have your need to be shown respect, afferimation and validation met.
Again if you have never done this in your church before it would be a good idea to show your pastor I Corinthians 12:25-26 and ask how you can obey these scriptures in your church with wisdom.
In the last lesson we talked about sharing your suffering, and its worth noting that the Bible tells us to share our suffering before it tells us to share how we have been honored. I believe the Bible list it this way because most of the time you must suffer before you are honored. You have to suffer through 12 years of school to graduate high school, 4 years of college to get a bachelor’s degree, interviews to get a job. Suffering and honor go together.
How many of us have put in time, effort and energy in something, and finally when it bears fruit we are isolated in our honor? Perhaps we get a raise, a good grade, a promotion, or a victory in something we find important. We have put in untold hours, dollars, and sweat into getting this honor. This honor will affect our lives for years to come. And through all the struggle we are finally honored, but we feel unable to share this with anybody in our church.
This is unhealthy, and destructive.
Many times what happens is we look around in church and we see people getting honored in much bigger ways than we are. Maybe they are getting engaged, married, having babies, buying houses, or getting jobs we cant even imagine, and we think our honor does not compare to theirs.
The Bible does not say that we are to rejoice when someone gets a big enough honor, it says that when one member is honored, even in a way we may feel is small, we are to rejoice with them. But no one can rejoice with you if you do not share your honor.
There is a character in Dilbert called Topper. Whenever someone mentions their success around Topper, Topper has to top it. If you have someone in your church like that, leave them alone, cause they are directly disobeying God. When you are blessed the people in the local church are to rejoice with you, and when you are fearful of “Toppers” in the local church that puts you and your church in a dangerous position.
In Genesis we find a man named Abram (later Abraham) and God honored him with a wife named Sarah. In Genesis 12, and Genesis 20 Abram (Abraham) said that Sarah was his sister and never mentioned that he had the honor of being married to Sarah. Sarah never mentioned she had the honor of being married to Abram (Abraham). They never mentioned what they had been honored with because of fear. And God nearly destroyed two countries because of it.
Technically Abraham and Sarah never lied, they just never mentioned their honor. Not sharing their honor nearly destroyed two countries. But when they finally revealed that they had the honor of being married to each other those two nations that God was about to destroy were rescued.
I do not know what God has honored you with. I do know that its very easy to let fear reign in your heart and life and not tell anyone about what God has done for you. But it is destructive for you and your church to keep your mouth shut about what God has done for you. Are you willing to be obedient, despite your fears, and share what God has honored you with? No one can rejoice with you until you share your honor with them.
Once you are sharing your honor with others that allows others to Respond by sharing their honor with you and giving you the chance to rejoice with them.
Does anybody in your local church trust you enough to share with you how God has blessed them?
You have an inbuilt, God given, relational need to hear how God is blessing and honoring those around you. If nobody around you is telling you how they are being honored and blessed, its probably because someone (maybe you) has discouraged them from doing so.
I have to tell you I am very convicted as I say this. I grew up in a home where teasing was encouraged, I went to school were sarcasm was a subject taught in every class, when I was a kid if someone had something to be proud of, was blessed by, or honored with I had to belittle them to make myself feel better. The community I was in knocked down everyone’s accomplishments. This made it impossible to get this relational need met.
Who would tell you about their honor if you are just going to knock it down out of selfish pride?
In the book of Ester we find a King who marries Ester and makes her a queen, but she did not tell her husband that she is a Jew. One of the Kings men decides to exterminate the Jews, and the King agrees to his plan simply because his wife, his queen never told her husband that she had the honor of being a Jew. She did not tell her husband she was a Jew out of fear of what would happen.
One day after the proclamation goes out that the kings men are planning on exterminating the Jews, Ester gets a message to tell the King that she is a Jew, or God will deliver the Jews another way. Perhaps God would kill the king. Who knows? If you read the book of Ester you will find that she had a lot of reasons to fear her husband finding out that she was a Jew, but once she shared her honor with the king, the king opened a way for the Jews to be saved from extermination, and made her family rise to prominence.
In this story its not Ester that was wrong, it was the king. His wife was scared to tell her husband of her honor and that nearly led to destruction. How much destruction has happened in your life because people are fearful to share their honor with you?
In conclusion God has given you a need that when someone in your church is honored that people will rejoice with them. What will it take to share your honor with others so that they can rejoice with you? What will it take for others to share their honor with you so you can rejoice with them? You need both to happen to have a right relationship with your local church. But in developing a right relationship with your local church you will become a spiritually and emotionally healthy Christian. Are you willing to give up your fear for this opportunity?