I am Caleb Fielding and I have a question Do you struggle to get close to people in church?
There was a time in my life where I was going to a large church, I was serving in 5 different ministries a week, I was going to church five days a week, and in all honesty I wasn’t close to anybody at the church. You would think that if you went to church often enough you would naturally get close to people but that’s just not how it works.
I think in my life I wasn’t getting close to people due to my disobedience. Although I was faithfully going to church, and faithfully serving, I never really considered the other people I was going to Church with. This is a problem because the Bible says in Hebrews 10:24-25
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
I was faithfully going to church and faithfully serving without ever really considering the people I was going to church with. The reality is to have a right relationship with the local church we must consider one another.
Many people say that they go to church to Consider God, to worship God, to serve God, to have a relationship with God and that’s great, and that’s right; but its not enough. If you go to church and never consider the other church members you have not obeyed Hebrews 10:24. If you go to church without considering the other church members you are just as bad as someone who misses church altogether.
If a married couple goes to church together they will easily obey this command. Every married couples considers one another. Even a married couple in a bad marriage considers one another. They probably consider one another more than a married couple in a good marriage.
Considering one another is a relationship need that everyone has, we need to be considered, and we need to consider others and as singles the best place for us to get this relational need met is the local church. As a single Christian you will have to be very intentional to obey God’s word on considering one another to get this need met.
Honestly we have talked a lot about this subject in the last few lessons from caring for other members like ourselves, to suffering with other members, to rejoicing when other members are honored, to exhorting other members. To do any of these things you must consider other members in the church.
Lets say you start at ground zero, and have never done any of these things. How do you begin to do all these things? Well first of all you have to consider which members in the church would be willing to let you build real relationships with them. Not every member in a church will be willing to develop a healthy relationship with you. Not every member of your church will have time to develop a healthy relationship with you. If you have never built a healthy relationship with anyone in your church please talk with your pastor about how to properly do so as he will have insight in many of his people.
As you take the first step and you start developing a right relationship with one or more members of the church sooner or later there will come a time to care for people as much as you care for yourself, or to suffer when they suffer, or to rejoice when they are honored, or to exhort someone; you will have to take the relationship outside of church. I know this may sound strange but a lot of church members never even think of seeing another member of their church outside of church. To develop healthy relationships in our local church we must see those church members outside of church.
Whether we have a meal with them, or go to each others homes, or just go to their promotion or graduation to properly consider other church members we are going to have to get to know them outside the boundaries of the church building.
As we learn to properly consider people we will get to know them in church several times a week, get to know them outside of church once every few weeks, but to properly consider them we will also need to pray for them daily.
We should be praying about how to care for these people, bringing their suffering before the Lord, bringing their honor before the Lord, asking God how we can exhort them. When we consider other Church members in all the ways we should be considering them, we merge our relationship with the church with our relationship with Christ, through prayer.
God made us with this need to have a relationship with God and a relationship with other people, and we need to bring these relationships together. We often do this by talking with God to those whom we are close to and church gives us an obvious opportunity to do this, but we also do this when we bring those we are close too, to God in prayer.
Considering one another demands that I learn about them, develop a relationship with them inside and outside of church and that I pray for them.
A wonderful Biblical example of this, is the relationship Paul had with Timothy.
Paul’s relationship with Timothy originally developed in a local church where Paul trained Timothy. Over time Paul moved on to another church but even though he was at a different church than Timothy he kept track of Timothy. We know this because I Timothy and II Timothy made it into the Bible. It is very clear that Paul and Timothy cared for one another, and knew when each other suffered, and knew when each other were honored. Because they no longer went to the same church they had to consider one another outside of church. In the midst of this relationship Paul constantly prayed for Timothy, we know this because II Timothy 1:3 says.
I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;
What will it take for you to be like Paul and consider another church member to the place where it transcends church? This would be a wonderful conversation to have with your pastor.
When you consider members in the church and begin taking steps to develop a relationship, people naturally Respond to that.
Before we begin I want to ask an honest question. Do you honestly give people at your church an opportunity to consider you?
A lot of singles are angry at churches for how they feel they are treated, but lets be very honest, sometimes we are not being treated like we should because of our own actions.
For instance have you ever been invited to something and turned down the invitation? When someone invites you out to eat, or to a dinner or something, they are considering you. Turn them down often enough and they will stop considering you, its human nature.
Have you ever had someone see that you were down and depressed and they asked about what was going on but you refused to open up and share your suffering with them? When they asked they were considering you, but you didn’t let them in so they had to stop.
Have you ever been honored but didn’t tell anyone about it? Nobody had an opportunity to consider you.
If you give nobody an opportunity to consider you then you are going to miss out on exhortation. If you wont let people in on your life, then you are also not letting people exhort you.
If you don’t give people an opportunity to consider you then you are also missing out on prayer. If people don’t know what is happening in your life, then they can pray over your name, but not your situation.
Paul is a wonderful example to us on letting others consider us. We know Paul continued to consider those in the churches he was a part of long after he left. That’s why we have the epistles, long after Paul left the churches he still considered them, and prayed for them, and kept in contact with them. He loved these people, and they loved him.
While keeping in contact with all these churches Paul wrote to them and told them about his successes, where he planted churches, his struggles in planting those churches, his sufferings, where he got beat, or had a thorn in the flesh. This gave the churches that Paul considered an opportunity to turn around and consider Paul.
Paul wrote back to the Philippians thanking them for meeting his necessity (Philippians 4). They could meet his necessity because he allowed them to consider him by keeping them up to date on what was going on in his life.
As a single person you need someone to consider you. You need someone to meet a necessity in your life. You probably don’t even know several of the necessities in your life you need met.
Personally I am in a ministry called deputation as a missionary, I am going from church to church telling them what God has called me to do, and asking that they support me on my endeavor to follow God’s call. Recently I went to a meeting for missionaries for 3 days. I got to fellowship with other missionaries and other people I have met on my travels. After 3 days of fellowship I was shocked by how much I needed that fellowship. If I had not had someone consider me I would never have had this need met in my life.
You need others to consider you, you need others to meet needs that you don’t even know you have. But as a single person are you allowing other people to consider you?
In Conclusion to consider one another seems like a small thing when we first read it, but in all honesty to consider one another is a combination of many commands in the word of God. Consideration is so important because through consideration you will meet needs people have that they never realized they had, and when others consider you they will meet needs you have that you never knew you had. What will it take for you to consider others and to allow others to consider you?
There was a time in my life where I was going to a large church, I was serving in 5 different ministries a week, I was going to church five days a week, and in all honesty I wasn’t close to anybody at the church. You would think that if you went to church often enough you would naturally get close to people but that’s just not how it works.
I think in my life I wasn’t getting close to people due to my disobedience. Although I was faithfully going to church, and faithfully serving, I never really considered the other people I was going to Church with. This is a problem because the Bible says in Hebrews 10:24-25
Heb 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
Heb 10:25 Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.
I was faithfully going to church and faithfully serving without ever really considering the people I was going to church with. The reality is to have a right relationship with the local church we must consider one another.
Many people say that they go to church to Consider God, to worship God, to serve God, to have a relationship with God and that’s great, and that’s right; but its not enough. If you go to church and never consider the other church members you have not obeyed Hebrews 10:24. If you go to church without considering the other church members you are just as bad as someone who misses church altogether.
If a married couple goes to church together they will easily obey this command. Every married couples considers one another. Even a married couple in a bad marriage considers one another. They probably consider one another more than a married couple in a good marriage.
Considering one another is a relationship need that everyone has, we need to be considered, and we need to consider others and as singles the best place for us to get this relational need met is the local church. As a single Christian you will have to be very intentional to obey God’s word on considering one another to get this need met.
Honestly we have talked a lot about this subject in the last few lessons from caring for other members like ourselves, to suffering with other members, to rejoicing when other members are honored, to exhorting other members. To do any of these things you must consider other members in the church.
Lets say you start at ground zero, and have never done any of these things. How do you begin to do all these things? Well first of all you have to consider which members in the church would be willing to let you build real relationships with them. Not every member in a church will be willing to develop a healthy relationship with you. Not every member of your church will have time to develop a healthy relationship with you. If you have never built a healthy relationship with anyone in your church please talk with your pastor about how to properly do so as he will have insight in many of his people.
As you take the first step and you start developing a right relationship with one or more members of the church sooner or later there will come a time to care for people as much as you care for yourself, or to suffer when they suffer, or to rejoice when they are honored, or to exhort someone; you will have to take the relationship outside of church. I know this may sound strange but a lot of church members never even think of seeing another member of their church outside of church. To develop healthy relationships in our local church we must see those church members outside of church.
Whether we have a meal with them, or go to each others homes, or just go to their promotion or graduation to properly consider other church members we are going to have to get to know them outside the boundaries of the church building.
As we learn to properly consider people we will get to know them in church several times a week, get to know them outside of church once every few weeks, but to properly consider them we will also need to pray for them daily.
We should be praying about how to care for these people, bringing their suffering before the Lord, bringing their honor before the Lord, asking God how we can exhort them. When we consider other Church members in all the ways we should be considering them, we merge our relationship with the church with our relationship with Christ, through prayer.
God made us with this need to have a relationship with God and a relationship with other people, and we need to bring these relationships together. We often do this by talking with God to those whom we are close to and church gives us an obvious opportunity to do this, but we also do this when we bring those we are close too, to God in prayer.
Considering one another demands that I learn about them, develop a relationship with them inside and outside of church and that I pray for them.
A wonderful Biblical example of this, is the relationship Paul had with Timothy.
Paul’s relationship with Timothy originally developed in a local church where Paul trained Timothy. Over time Paul moved on to another church but even though he was at a different church than Timothy he kept track of Timothy. We know this because I Timothy and II Timothy made it into the Bible. It is very clear that Paul and Timothy cared for one another, and knew when each other suffered, and knew when each other were honored. Because they no longer went to the same church they had to consider one another outside of church. In the midst of this relationship Paul constantly prayed for Timothy, we know this because II Timothy 1:3 says.
I thank God, whom I serve from my forefathers with pure conscience, that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers night and day;
What will it take for you to be like Paul and consider another church member to the place where it transcends church? This would be a wonderful conversation to have with your pastor.
When you consider members in the church and begin taking steps to develop a relationship, people naturally Respond to that.
Before we begin I want to ask an honest question. Do you honestly give people at your church an opportunity to consider you?
A lot of singles are angry at churches for how they feel they are treated, but lets be very honest, sometimes we are not being treated like we should because of our own actions.
For instance have you ever been invited to something and turned down the invitation? When someone invites you out to eat, or to a dinner or something, they are considering you. Turn them down often enough and they will stop considering you, its human nature.
Have you ever had someone see that you were down and depressed and they asked about what was going on but you refused to open up and share your suffering with them? When they asked they were considering you, but you didn’t let them in so they had to stop.
Have you ever been honored but didn’t tell anyone about it? Nobody had an opportunity to consider you.
If you give nobody an opportunity to consider you then you are going to miss out on exhortation. If you wont let people in on your life, then you are also not letting people exhort you.
If you don’t give people an opportunity to consider you then you are also missing out on prayer. If people don’t know what is happening in your life, then they can pray over your name, but not your situation.
Paul is a wonderful example to us on letting others consider us. We know Paul continued to consider those in the churches he was a part of long after he left. That’s why we have the epistles, long after Paul left the churches he still considered them, and prayed for them, and kept in contact with them. He loved these people, and they loved him.
While keeping in contact with all these churches Paul wrote to them and told them about his successes, where he planted churches, his struggles in planting those churches, his sufferings, where he got beat, or had a thorn in the flesh. This gave the churches that Paul considered an opportunity to turn around and consider Paul.
Paul wrote back to the Philippians thanking them for meeting his necessity (Philippians 4). They could meet his necessity because he allowed them to consider him by keeping them up to date on what was going on in his life.
As a single person you need someone to consider you. You need someone to meet a necessity in your life. You probably don’t even know several of the necessities in your life you need met.
Personally I am in a ministry called deputation as a missionary, I am going from church to church telling them what God has called me to do, and asking that they support me on my endeavor to follow God’s call. Recently I went to a meeting for missionaries for 3 days. I got to fellowship with other missionaries and other people I have met on my travels. After 3 days of fellowship I was shocked by how much I needed that fellowship. If I had not had someone consider me I would never have had this need met in my life.
You need others to consider you, you need others to meet needs that you don’t even know you have. But as a single person are you allowing other people to consider you?
In Conclusion to consider one another seems like a small thing when we first read it, but in all honesty to consider one another is a combination of many commands in the word of God. Consideration is so important because through consideration you will meet needs people have that they never realized they had, and when others consider you they will meet needs you have that you never knew you had. What will it take for you to consider others and to allow others to consider you?